Are my builders playing jenga?

As you can see this is the total work achieved by my builders today..

They arrived at half 8 and vanished an hour after.. very confusing..

I had also locked my cat in the litchen overnight due to wet cement but when I woke he had gone leaving his own little mark on the building..

Have had the worst nights sleep ever last night.. evil cold has filled my head with snot which swishes from side to side depending on how I position myself.. Also dog from hell Rosie appears to have finally gone mad and spent half of last night crying and keeping me awake. I took her out on her lead at 11, 2.30 and 4am but to no avail. I think she just misses Mum. Finally realise how people with babies must feel and am amazed how they ever get up in the mornings. I actually sat crying and shouting at the dog "JUST TELL ME WHAT IS WRONG! I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT!!!" in a very crazy-lady sort of way.

Have also discovered that James has the sore throat that I had two days ago, very worried now that he wont be able to drive down on Friday night. Illness has made me all clingy and pathetic, i just really need a hug! :(

Luckily my Dad is the worlds number 1 hyperchondriac so there are plenty of lemsips etc. in the house.

Nothing happens here in the countryside..

Ohhhh whenever I go away somewhere something really interesting always happens at home and I miss it!

When James called last night to tell me he had arrived home safe I was informed that there was a police officer at our house.. How odd? James wasn't quite sure what was going on but gathered it had something to do with Vandals.

Apparently - as I have just gained info off James - a group of lads from Tamworth had come during the evening and sprayed "LBA" in writing over 5 peoples homes in the village, including ours, and one unfortunate mans car.. My informant has told me that the kids were stupid enough to get caught on the CCTV at the pub looking easily recogniseable and have been identified.

The best bit in my opinion was that "LBA" stood for "Leyfields Barmy Army"

oh deary me..

When I got home half the house was missing...

Where to begin!

I had a blog all planned about my strange journey down here (including old ladies who spent a three hour train journey texting) but somehow the past couple of days would have made the blog larger than my anticipated dissertation...



I had a nice couple of days with Mum and Dad, a nice meal at their friends, fish and chips by the sea etc.

On Friday the builders arrived at 6:30 in the morning. Oh yes and they were demolishing half of the house.

Fortunately there was a property-ladder-esque problem with feuding families (our builder needed access from the field that was owned by his uncle who was mad at his dad and promptly held our digger hostage until everything was sorted out)

Keen to avoid the mayhem we left Dad and Owen watching the digger loom into view (it was as big as our house)



When we got home half of the house had gone, and in true fashion my parents packed their bags into the van and left for the airport.

I was on my own in half a house with no electricity and possibly no waste (meaning i couldn't go to the toilet)

Well, anyway, a few minutes after they left it got worse.

"Can I just nip in and look under your sink?"
"errr.. ok.."
"Do you know how to turn off the hot water to outside?"

My dad has hired builders who put a digger through a hot water pipe, get covered in boiling water, and then cannot even find correct valve to turn off water..

Next to occur-

"I'm afraid we have had a bit of an accident and cut your Sky TV cable in half"

Great... So now I am alone in the house with no Sky (and signal here is poor) having to watch Welsh TV programs all week with an erratic water supply resulting in me having to brush my teeth in warm water.

Thankfully James arrived for the weekend and his Dad being an ex BT engineer, at least I now have a phone line (well at least until they brake that as well!)

Apart from that I have had a bit of a decent time whilst James has been here. Yesterday we went to Abereiddy which is one of the most amazing places around here. It actually has a blue lagoon! I love it there... We bought a picnic of food stuff from tesco and drove all the way there in torrential rain. Having parked on the beach we climed over the coastal path in the rain and wind with the sea spray stinging our cheeks and sat on top of the world for a while.



If only he could stay this whole week..

Looks like it's just me and the dogs and the cat and the chickens and the builders..

The long goodbye...

I feel quite lonely now!

I know that this is ridiculous as I only said goodbye to James 15 mins ago but never mind!

All I have to do between now and 10am is pack all of my clothes (some of which are still covered in mud from camping - will present them to my Mum as some sort of gift), clean out the hamster, change the bedding oh and walk the 30 minutes to the station dragging my suitcase and laptop behind me...

I feel I have prepared for the 5 hour journey -

Grazia magazine
Heat magazine (you need some trash on a long stint)
1 large-ish bottle of coke
A book (the labrinth - kate mosse)
James's iPod
Nintendo DS - with Mario, Tetris and Sonic
Mobile
Haribo
Sandwiches
Camera

Hmm. Do not know if iPod is charged..

ooooh! Am getting an iPod nano! yay! When James ordered his macbook (sounds strangely scottish..) last night he bought me a nano (with laptop it only cost £19!) As i pointed out, he would in fact be crazy not to buy it me

Right! I must go and actually get something done! I shall report back on the state of the nations rail network and show you the answer to a burning question - just what does Newport Gwent's station look like?

I shall leave you with that thought..

Lady of leisure

At lunch time today I had a realisation that I was a poor-rich woman.. I was sat in Marks and Spencers having a toasted ciabatta and a latte whilst my partner was at work. I am a lady who lunches. Except I could hardly afford said lunch.

Had a great time in there people-watching as i sat and ate my food.

An old lady managed to collapse a whole display of food whilst simultaniously complaining about the size of her scone. After picking up the item (oh so delicately) with those tongue things she gestured over the employee and squashed down the scone to indicate it's inadequateness. The employee then pointed out to the woman that a) that there were in fact extra large scones next to the section she had demolished, b) her scone wasn't much smaller than the others and c) that she had now in fact made it smaller herself. (of course b) and c) were what I gathered from the look on her face) The old lady then decided to swap her now crumb-like scone for a large one placing the dishevelled remains back into the tray making sure she used the tongues - oblivious to the fact that she had basically murdered the cake..

When my toasted sandwich came over from the kitchen the woman looked at me as if I were crazy when I declined her offer of "red sauce" to put on my ham and cheese ciabatta.

I also noted that the whole pretence of "tomato sauce" has now been abandoned, as blatantly it does not resemble tomato in any other aspect than colour (which is actually added to it)


Concerning Train Travel..

Train ticket has been purchased for tomorrow for 11:03, meaning I get to Mum and Dads for half 4. Much better. Just one stop in Newport for half an hour.

The logic of the train company has confused me once more as I discovered that you can go 240 miles for £29 but for £8.50 you can only go 30 miles..

Note on previous post re: evil paint

My sister texted me today to tell me that the evil paint written about previously has in fact blocked up her sink.. It just keeps on attacking!

The tale of Kate and the cat of terror

Have also discovered today that my Kitty has some weird fascination with my cream knitted jumper to the extent that she claws up my body to try and bite me when I am wearing it! I have a possessed cat! She kept trying to bite my cheek (although granted she does only have 3 teeth left) I got so scared - she was making crazy cat sounds and chasing me (a feat in itself considering her lack of sight) I was on the phone to my Mum at the time and had to drop the phone and run out of the room to escape her! Have taken off jumper and she is now sat on my lap..

How very odd...

11 hours? really??

Bear in mind, I have just travelled home from Wales in Bank holiday traffic and made it home in 5 hours. That is usually quite a long journey.

Now, my logic would suggest that trains travel quicker than cars, yes?

According to national rail, if i want to go to Mum and Dads on Wednesday evening and I leave at half 7, it will take me 11 and a half hours!!! oh dear god!

James wants me to go on Thursday morning (incidently the train in the morning would only take 4 and a half hours) but my Mum wants my help with a clean on Thursday morning.. If I go on Wednesday midday I will upset James (he won't see me for a week as it is) but if i go on Thursday it will upset my Mum...

Urgh.. I just don't know what to do..

Camping Summary

Day 1

So we left Tamworth an hour later than planned..

After a long 5 and a half hours we rolled up in a rainy Tesco car park to meet my Mum and Dad. By the time we got to the campsite it was already 6pm. We still had a beast of a tent to construct..



Unfortunately James was quite late due to the fact that he was travelling down the M6 at rush hour and didn’t reach the campsite til after 10pm. He also happened to be carrying a lot of the items for the holiday (such as clothing..).

Once the ten was pitched we made our way down the hill to Broadhaven to eat fish and chips by the sea.


Day 2

After a relatively good night asleep on the floor (James somehow sliding down hill in the tent to end up with his head in the far corner) we left the tent and made our way to Oakwood – the local theme park. James felt sick after a couple of rides and had a traumatic moment with a wasp..

Highlight of day for James – Pedallow boats
Highlight for Kate – James using obscene language never heard before on the rollercoaster with a 97 degree drop..

Day 3

Today we managed to cycle the 7.5 miles of steep terrain around Llys-y-fran reservoir. At one point I thought I may just die having just cycled up the height of the dam.. James and Tom sped off ahead leaving me with Stu (who has the unique ability to murder any bike he sits on) and his random bike chain of doom. After every 100m the chain would get wedged over the top of the gears.. Grrr. Was so mad at James, the last time I saw him was at the 2 miles marker and he didn’t stop for us until the end. Me and Stu had fun though, getting increasingly bitter as we pushed our bike up vertical slopes and rode through thick mud. When we got to the end I had a giant piece of sponge cake in the café..

After all that excitement we went to play Pirate golf – which in my opinion is the best thing to do in the whole of Pembrokeshire!



Highlight of the day – Cycling through the river and getting completely drenched and having a paddy at the 18th hole of pirate golf as I got fed up of hitting the ball all over the place..


All in all, good holiday! Just 2 more days until I am back again! Blogger wont let me put up any photos at the mo so will do them tomorrow..

Farewell until Monday!

In 1 hour and 40 minutes I will be on my way to sunny spells with showers Wales!

So happy I get to see my Mum, she will understand about the cat.. I need a hug! There is something so comforting when your Mum hugs you..

I will report back on Monday to tell of the fiasco which will be my camping trip

Have a good bank holiday!

In memory of Lloyd, a perfect little cat

V. upsetting evening, whilst packing for the holiday James's cat Lloyd was ran over at the front of the house. James's friend saw it happen and was really kind bringing in the cat for us.

He was very loving and incredably cuddly. I miss him already.

Well, that convinces me - they truly do know!

"Today is a great day for you, dear Gemini" read my horoscope on my browser...

I have deleted it from my BT homepage.

Bitter? me?

Am cursed!

Just choked on a piece of egg.

Picked up bottle of lemonade to get a drink (still choking) and bottle fizzed up and went all over myself and the couch.

I am so close to crying tonight.

Hell is a blue piece of wallpaper

Oh I am so weary...

Today was "decorating Halle's bedroom" day. Her room was a bright blue colour so when Claire picked me up this morning to get the paint we got an extra tin of light pink paint to use as an undercoat.

Shopping list:

1 tin of vinyl paint (pale pink)

1 tin of vinyl-matt paint (lovely ice-cream pink colour)

3 sets of paint pads - Claire wouldn't retrieve her things from the shed as they had a spider sat on them

1 paint roller

1 bottle of white spirits

3 paint brushes

The painting began with covering the blue wallpaper seen in the picture on the right.

Slightly odd finish but it was ok when we came back for the second coat.

We were having a really fun time, Halle was dancing around and all of the bizarre things we did wrong seemed quite amusing. (see picture below...)

We broke for lunch and had a sandwich and a packet of crisps and then went upstairs. It was like a horror film!!! The paint had started OOZING DOWN THE WALL. The room looked as if it was melting!

Paint would not dry!

It had instead turned to a gloopy rubber substance. Cue picture.

At 2pm we had to stip off wallpaper complete with wet paint. It covered us, it covered the floor and it even went on the ceiling. Miraculously at 5.50pm we had managed to stick up the border and get most of the room back to normal.

I'll need therapy for the rest of my life! I was so traumatised by the glooping paint that I was shaking all over and the adrenaline in us to get the job done didn't help!

Am going to go have a verrrry long bath!

Comfort in Cheese

I was feeling quite ill yesterday and spent til 4pm in my bed drifting in and out of sleep with my dvd of pride and prejudice on.. Occasionally the dogs would bark and I would try to yell at them in a dignified manner .. ahem.. and the cat was heard wandering around the house meowing at inanimate objects. I survived the day on one bowl of "Raisin Wheats" which, by midday, had developed into some form of wheaty cement. When James rang to say he was on his way home from work I thought I should really get changed.

Me being croaky and ill on the couch seemed to really effect James as he came in the house, got changed and propmtly turned on his computer in the other end of the house. hmm.

I tried to look pathetic and still no comfort.

After dinner, where I sat next to him and tried to eat 2 pieces of bacon, I managed to gain the biggest form of sympathy James can offer. As I lay on the couch he gave me a big hug and produced a big plate of cheese. Strange, I know, but those who know James will understand (he has an obsession with all things cheese based).

I must point out that James did consume most of the cheese and that it was part of the forbidden cheese plate which was in our fridge that was not ours to eat.. hehehe...

Decisions, decisions...

Do I choose my year 9 school trousers (yes they do still fit) or my ancient green corduroy ones? *gag*

Trouser crisis reaching a head as I woke up today (suspiciously ill?!?) to discover that I have no respectable trousers left in my drawer..

Have already resorted to wearing James's jeans this weekend (have checked and according to this weeks Grazia magazine "boyfriend jeans" are fashionable - hurrah!) But I am now faced with a dilemma... I need to go to Birmingham to buy more trousers - but:

a) I have very limited funds
b) I have no clothes to wear - may get arrested.. (or sectioned if i wear a skirt in this weather)
c) Do I go somewhere i hate - like primark - for a million pairs or do I do what my heart tells me and go to O'Neill (where i have discovered from BG's blog that there is a sale on) and buy just the one?
d) Suddenly occurred to me that James must be around a female size 10.. how odd???

Wonder if I could get home delivery...

Weekend summary

Trouser Trouble

This weekend a total of 4 pairs of jeans made their way to the dustbin..

Pair 1: Large tear down backside that I didn't notice until the evening..
Pair 2: A fatality of the tumble drier due to broken thermostat - flapped around ankles
Pair 3: The zip randomly came down during the day to reveal my underwear
Pair 4: Slapstick comedy moment where I tripped up over the dog and ripped the backside of my jeans open..


Bored Games

"that is improper use of a body part!"

An action packed weekend of monopoly (grr) and a strange balancing game which prompted the above outburst. (stu was being a pigeon too close to the game...)


4 Hours of toiling

This morning I went to a random craft centre and fell in love with a small ornament thing of a cat..
Before I could put it in the room James decided we had to clear a space for it in our downstairs room. Cue 4 hours of hoovering, manovering and recycling with an awful lot of cursing under the breath. The cat looks great though!



On the subject of pictures..

My camera returned from Nikon ! Hurrah!

oh the memories!

Whilst wandering around the kitchen in my dressing gown concocting a breakfast feast of turkey sandwich, twix and coffee, a song came on the radio which made all these memories come back..

The song was Keane's new one (I think it must be called under the iron sea..)

A few days ago I was sat in the car with post-work James and this song came on the radio.. The chorus begins with the phrase "oh crystal ball, crystal ball, save us all"

Now if you replace the words "crystal ball" with "Chris deBurgh" you will get the gist of what james was singing..

This is not a new thing for James.. When we first met at Sainsbury's we were stacking up our veg and singing Christmas carols (incidently it was in fact December) when James came out with what has now become a classic -

"Good King Wenceslas went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni."

I think that may have been the moment...

Another fire related tale..

For those who read yesterdays post - I didn't notice at the time, but on closer inspection the rag in the driveway had a remnant of tupperware box in it so I now understand the vile plastic fumes!

Have finally been able to put a picture of it on the page - please note the small puddle and the pile of tinfoil. For those with good eyesight you may even be able to see a brillo pad snuggled in there!

Told James what had happened when he rang at lunch and he laughed and told me he pictured a Sim-like reaction from me. Also informed me of an amusing fire related anecdote from the world of IT support. Yesterday a man called up to say he was struggling to do a back up and he needed it done quickly as the building was on fire! See, am not the only idiot in the world...

Yesterday also saw the passing of my TV. The picture randomly goes and you have to hit the top. I did that yesterday and the screen turned white. I now have to watch TV through my laptop (James's mum and dad got me a digital receiver for my 21st so I could watch neighbours at uni.. I know, I am pathetic!)

On reflection, yesterday was pretty bad! After all of the trauma in the day we went with Tom to play tennis. Tom promptly injured himself tripping up on a tennis ball.

Hopefully today will be better! I will report back tonight!

Near death experience..

Oh my god


I was feeling slightly peckish so i decided to put a pizza in the oven for lunch. Put pizza in the oven as phone beeped.

Sat sending a txt back to claire and noticed a really weird noise. Sounded like a firework.. v. odd. Fireworks are not usually found in the house?! Walked into kitchen and cooker on fire!!!

Oh god. Cooker on fire.

Turned off the cooker switch and grabbed the oven gloves. With window open i bravely grabbed the flaming tea towel sitting on top of the hob and threw out of window.

By this point I was gasping for breath as kitchen, hall and dining room completely full of burning polyester smoke.

I opened all of the door and windows and shut the little kitty in her room and ran into the garden to breathe some clean air.. Next thing i heard the voice of the next door neighbour going "oh my god! it's on fire!" He had run across to throw water on the still burning pile of rag sat under the window. I explained what had happened and he left when he saw i was ok.

It was at this point - me (looking amazingly rough btw as was due to bathe after said pizza and was wearing an odd combo of utility trousers, nighty top and tatty snowboard asylum jumper) scrubbing furiously at burnt plasic on hob, rag on driveway still smouldering - that a strange lad in a white coat appeared.

Bet you can guess my first thought!

Instead of screeming "don't take me away! It was only an accident!" I was forced to listen to boy speaking gibberish abut frozen fish.

Frozen fish??? I had no idea what he was saying, I was still in trauma and rag still looking suspicious on the driveway. I replied with "I didn't know we had fish"

It sounds so stupid now but at the time i was stupid myself.

He looked at me like i was a loony and then said "Do you want to order some fish. We freeze it. Then deliver it. To your house. Do you want any fish?"

"It's not my house"

CAN YOU NOT SEE I AM IN A STATE OF PANIC AND COUGHING WITH NEWLY AQUIRED SMOKERS COUGH DUE TO TOWEL??????

For your own amusement have taken a picture of the culprit (incase you were wondering it is tinfoil next to it as was afraid of flames and wrapped some over the top when threw out of window... (will have to add picture of it later - blogger is having issues with pictures at the mo!)



Well, I am off to town now to buy some replacement tea towels...

Oh my god, I was so embarrassed!

Last night James took me out for dinner and cinema which was v. good.. We went to see "Monster House" (which i may add is a childrens animated film)

This should be ok.. I don't like horror but it is a kids film after all, I will be fine.



And then I punched myself in the eye grabbing James's hand.

Happy Birthday Deakie!

I was informed today that it was my sisters dogs birthday. On this very special tenth birthday my sister was abandoning him and had texted me to see if i could go and feed him his dinner and his carrot..

On the way out of the drive i wished i had never left the house. Stupid big van parked a couple of foot away from my drive blocking the whole view of the road. I dithered for ages and decided to pull out verrry slowly to check for traffic. A blue rover 25 sped past me doing about 50mph and beeped it's horn at me. Not good. My confidence shot i continued out to find that i could not actually get out of drive due to thin-ness of road and proximity of said vehicle. (i have to reverse onto the road)

I screeched back onto the driveway in a foul mood to James who had come out to see why someone was beeping their horn at me. James then reversed the car for me and let me back in.

Feel utterly incompetant and cannot drive.