A pilchard doesn't even come close

As I stood pinned to the wall of the train with my back digging into the bizarrly placed handrail, a sweaty armpit inches from my head and chipmunk dance music blaring it's tinny tones throughout the carriage, I realised the train service had reached an all time low.

My personal space was now roughly three inches in front of me as I stood face to face with the woman in front, close enough to make out the pores in her skin and hear the music from her headphones. You never know quite where to look when they are leaning on the wall to steady themselves close to your left ear and essentially pinning you to the wall. The train is no place for those uncomfortable in crowds.

In that typically British way we all make small talk about how crowded it is, 34 people swaying around us in the space of one carriage entrance space. The man belonging to the sweaty armpit starts talking lewdly about one of the other women in the train further back and the woman I am attached to looks pitifully towards him.

Walking has proved to be just as ghastly..

This morning as I walked through the streets of Birmingham I almost slipped over on what turned out to be a used condom.

How classy...

Some things are just not meant to be... Like getting to uni and actually brushing your teeth

As I exited the shower and threw on some clothes James asked if I could just run him down to the post office to get the FT for uni.

As we left I grabbed his keys, put on a coat and informed him that he would have to go in as I had wet hair, no make-up and hadn't brushed my teeth yet.

Once at the shop James's friend arrived and he went off to uni with him.

With the house keys.

It dawned on me, as I sat helpless on the driveway, that I was a complete state, had no money, no phone and none of my uni work with me.

Oh crap.


I wandered around the garden in a vain attemt to see if there were any hidden keys. There were none.

In the end I ventured up the road to James's Sisters house. Someone was in but reluctant to answer. After three attempts (and about 20 minutes and some emotional brakedown) the door was answered and I managed to call James's Dad, who called his Mum, who gave me James's number which I then rang.

To cut a long story short I ended up driving to Stafford to wait for James to appear from a lecture without any makeup and with crazy drying hair and finally got into the house at half past 3.

Hmmm

It's not every day that you get approached by a giant sperm..

Whilst getting my lunch from the neighbouring university I was approached by a giant sperm. Odd..

He gave me a bag of condoms and walked away...

Then a lady from Heart FM decided she wanted me and my friend to give her some sound bites for the news..

Thank god it wasn't Midlands Today...

Anticipation

Observations

10:30 pm - no snow

11:30 pm - no snow

4:00 am - no snow

5:30 am - no snow hmmm

6:30 am - SNOW! hurrah!

I awoke (after a night of restless anticipation) to a crisp carpet of sparkling white. Eager to not miss a second of it - in that very British way mostly shown in summer months - I got dressed in my warm clothes and accompanied James's Mum on a walk with the dogs.

In the end I ventured into Birmingham for my 15 minute tutorial (tutor would not accept excuses.. grr..) and braved the trains.

At this point I must complain..

To those in control of Tamworth station - evil gits..

Why oh why did you decide to lock the waiting room?

I stood shivering in the snow for half an hour waiting for my train. Every time a train went through it brought a draught of snow crashing into my face which resulted in my friends at uni laughing at how red my cheeks were when I arrived...

All in all - snow gets the thumbs up :)

Let it snow..

The car wash has magical powers over me..

It's so exciting when your in the car and all the flappy things are twirling over you. James was less than impressed though and kept doing his worried face about the wing mirrors.

Who cares if the wing mirror breaks off?

Unfortunately car has come out still slightly dirty.. am toying with the idea of taking it back all disgusted. At least all traces of the "mud incident" have now completely gone..

Apart from car washing joy the rest of my day was a bit non descript - I went into uni for my tutorial, hung around for half an hour and was told they were running a couple of hours late and that I have to come back on Thursday. Oooh which brings me to...

Snow!

According to two independant weather type sources Tamworth will get heavy snow on Thursday! Hurrah!

I shall buy a new snow coat in celebration and get to wear the lovely green bobble hat I got off James for Christmas.. lalalalalaaaa...

IT help desks - are they run by people with no technical knowledge?

It's always amusing to listen to James on the phone to help desks..

"I'm having trouble getting a default gateway from my home hub"

"yes, my IP address is.."

"well I can't give you my default gateway as I don't have one"


The greatest part is that he knows more than the person on the phone but has no access to their controls..

He is now currently in an argument with the man on the phone as the man keeps blaming random parts of our network.

They have met their match..

A slight bout of panic

As of today I only have one more piece of work to hand in before the end of my degree.



Oh dear God

(on a lighter note - what do you reckon about my background? pretty eh? :)

Feeling drained (literally)

I stand up as the Nurse calls out my name and walk calmly to the little room.

"Please sit in the chair."

The Nurse is indicating for me to sit in what I can only describe as a chair of torture. It had things which I put my feet in and weird arms that seemed to fit the shape of my arm.. rather too well..

"Right, so we are taking a blue, orange, purple and grey then.." (I think those were the colours..)

What??? 4??? I thought they would just all share the one sample?

I sit in the chair whilst the Nurse tells me how she likes my vein (it must be particularly pretty as they all say that to me..) and try to transport myself away to a land where I am not feeling dizzy and slightly tense.

I tell the Nurse about evil Nurse in Manchester who drops the cover and rams the needle into my arm whilst picking it up and she gives me simpathetic comments which I lap up.

What seems like an hour later, she changes to the last bottle. I get the feeling I am talking gibberish to her. Once the needle is removed she asks how I am (you look a little pale?) and I inform her that I'm generally quite a pale person.

As I leave I go to book the appointment for my results.

There is a queue of old ladies.

Why must they take so long?

Room spinning slightly.. oh god please not like the Science lesson... (traumatic episode after my TB jab where I awoke to find my entire Science class looking down on me..)

Thankfully I get to the counter and lean rather heavily on it.

Appointment booked I leave in a rather tipsy manner and try to locate James.

Am now sat at home frantically printing out my hand in to take over to Birmingham. My arms look very pale.. How long does it take for the blood to re-appear???