There is a distinct lack of chocolate in this apartment

Rubbish day (job wise) as only response is poor.

Have tidied kitchen, ironed everything, put more washing in and got up to date with all household tasks.

I am just craving chocolate at the moment and we have none* in the house.. so have instead consumed entire packet of posh crisps in giant bag. Still feeling unfulfilled I have moved onto the jar of chocolate spread in the cupboard, maybe should add some toast to it?

*strictly a lie as we have the remaining roses chocolates which nobody likes

Strangely relevant horoscopes

Jobs applied for this morning: 2

Phone calls to apartment asking for doctors appointment: 3 (mysterious...)

"Gemini - Boredom starts to creep in today, and a bored Gemini is not a pretty sight. But whose responsibility is it to make sure that you are entertained? Your friends? The cat?"

Fat bloody chance of that one. Cat is asleep inside contraption and will most likely remain so for rest of day. Have contemplated poking her to make her wake up but not really fancying my chances putting my hand inside a confined space like that..

A blog of numbers

Number of enforced visits to Job Centre since last post: 3

Number of times woman at job centre has smiled during those visits: 0

Jobs applied for since Friday: 4

Rejections: 1

Correct lottery numbers: 1

Ideas: 0

Everything happens for a reason. This is my mantra. 

I just need to figure out what that reason could be...

A long time coming...

Hmm. Last post was 2007... 

I am far too lazy to fill in the events of every little moment since then so just to get you to speed -

• I am now in London
• A silly little thing which the media named the "Credit Crunch" has stolen my job
• It is my first Christmas in our flat
• My boyfriend now has some kind of high profile career
• I have resorted to baking to distract me from desperate emails to agency staff

I have been "without job" for around three weeks. 

I have already began talking to the cat rather too much about subjects which I feel may bore her, I have made 36 fairy cakes and 4 large pasties (cake outcome would have been higher had I not consumed a large quantity of mixture prior to casing..) and I have given myself blisters ironing (?!)

So far my consolation lies in 2 possible opportunities:

Agency 1 has a job on hold which they will put me forward for (no idea how long this may be on hold for (think job may not actually exist and agency are applying some cruel tactic to keep me on books)

Agency 2 requested some further examples of work last Friday and I have heard nothing since (Please note I have also emailed the man since asking for feedback and still nothing - I don't wish to become a stalker but I am getting impatient)

*Please not that there are 6 other agencies but these are all unhelpful

When my boyfriend leaves for work I am without a human to talk to until he arrives home in the evening (as I have no money coming in I feel that I can't justify pointless trips on public transport.) All in all this lack of interaction has led me to become tuned into the little noise on my computer which indicates contact from the outside world. Like a little error noise, that beep gets me all excited - only to discover that ASOS has some more offers (which I can't really buy as am unemployed) or that the homebuilding and renovating show is coming to the NEC... It is now too late in the day to expect an email, so I sink into a mini sulk.

Tomorrow is a dreary day which I have been dreading since last week. I had hoped that I would never experience this during my working life but, alas, I have to trek through the East End of London to the Job centre where I will stand, mortified, whilst someone talks to me about how they think I could improve my skills (obviously a degree these days just isn't enough.) 

I bet £10 they will not have a clue what my job entails and will put me forward for a job in a wallpaper shop... 

At least I got to make use of my v. pretty stripey wellies..

As I sit at work staring out of the window I can't help but feel resentful to the weather.

It is a beautiful day outside, warm and sunny with a slight breeze - a perfect day for putting your washing on the line (If I in fact had a washing line, or even a garden for that matter...)

Yesterday couldn't have been more different..

We arrived at the V festival insanely early (2 hrs early) due to obsessive paranoia about traffic that didn't exist. We stood up in the rain for the next 13 hours. I feel like I may be about an inch shorter today.. Maybe will check that out later.. how odd would that be!

Very cold and very muddy, however, all of this pales into insignificance when you are stood about 15 metres away from Dave Grohl and can see the buttons on his shirt.

Ahhh.. and Snow Patrol were so good..

It almost makes me forget the hour and a half it took to leave the car park.

Burning a hole in the pocket it never even reached..

I really did think that things may work out better financially once I was working..

Deary me, within 2 days of being paid (my FIRST paycheck) I have blown all of the money on a new car. I didn't even need the new car! (although it is very pretty and starts with a button..)

I blame James!

Now I can't buy my nice clothes for the holiday and will have to make do with the things I already own... grr...

Hmm

Today as I left the house and ran through the rain to my car my sandwiches flew from my grasp and landed in a bush.

Great.

(work going well apart from that!)

Are cats whiskers supposed to fall out?

Well, have managed to shake off my unemployability curse! I start work tomorrow 14 minutes away in a very pretty office where the people all seem smiley..

Anyway, I arrive home (feeling like crap I may add - body has responded to impending job by giving me one hell of a cold) and find that my cat has got yet another whisker trapped and now seperate from her body in the keyboard of my computer.. This is the second one now? Am quite confused...

Also, after my adventures in the Lake District and then Wales I have returned home to the prospect of my hamster having a tumour. Not v. good..

Sheep shearing in Wales

For those who ever think "how cool would it be to go sheep shearing!" consider this a warning!!!
Last weekend I attended a course with James, Dad and cousin Tom. We were mainly there for Dads friend who has actually bought a flock of sheep but we were all pretty intrigued.

The men showed us how to do it on one sheep as we all stood watching in awe and then informed us that it was "our turn."


Arrrrrgh! It was mayhem! We had to walk into the pen and grab a sheep with our thumb inside its mouth at the back of it's teeth. The next move was to turn the sheeps head back on itself and wrestle it to the ground.

After about ten minutes I managed to awkwardly persuade my sheep to fall over whilst the men stood smirking. Dragging the sheep out on it's back by the leg and the briskit (Which I was calling the biscuit all the way through and no-one thought to correct me) I managed to drag the 5 stone dead wait out of the pen.

The an escapee jumped over my head and ran off.

Clearly terrified (and absolutely knackered) I then managed to cut open the poor things leg.

Please do not worry - sheep was not harmed - I was assured that is normal?!?!?

In total I managed three sheep.

James, in some kind of heroic effort (and much foul language), managed to de-coat 5 of the things. Unfortunately two of which were full of maggots...

Needless to say we all pulled a sickie for the second day and I am still feeling crippled with aches and pains. I have never done anything so gruelling in my life. Hats off to the lads who do thousands of the things!!

Will post some pics later..

Well, that's a first!

Hurrah!

Not only did I pass my degree (with first class honours I may add) and have officially paid for my holiday, but when I went into Borders I found a new Mike Gayle book. How good is this week getting?!?

Ahh my obviously well remembered Birthday approaches

Dad: Hey - what's your postcode?

Me: have you not sent my birthday card yet?

Dad: It may be a bit late.
We haven't put any money in it either.

me: Er, ok..

Dad: how many stamps am I meant to put on the envelope? Your mother has bought a ridiculously large card..


Oh dear God, what will be arriving in the post?!? I have visions of needing to collect it from the depot and it needing a roof rack..

You know it's time to find a job when...

• The last 4 items of clothing you bought were £3 or less in a sale
• You watch clips of Neighbours on youtube where people like Harold Bishop died
• You fall asleep with the cat on you and wake up slightly dribbling
• The postman knows that you are in and waits for you to appear when he has a parcel (rather than knocking and walking away)
• You begin to download random programmes, such as the F word from 4OD, to watch whilst you eat lunch
• Lunch consists of cold spaghetti hoops as you are too lazy with boredom to actually cook them
• It's your birthday at the weekend but you can't actually afford to do anything special
• You get asked to help your sister dismantle shelves on a Wednesday afternoon
• Having a shower at midday is now part of the "routine"
• You have a "routine"

sigh...

Ramble

Presenatation over. Oh god - why did I spend the majority of it talking about how the dog in the picture looked like a pig?!? Hopefully they will have a sense of humour (or pity)

Feel quite sad now. It's strange knowing that the people you were so close to for the last three years won't be there anymore. The people who you went on holiday with, who shared your pain at deadlines, who helped you through the trauma. I'll miss every one of them.

Now I'm going to get a coffee before I get emotional!

(oh btw, never got a chance to blog this - night before deadline I had a flat tyre - outside my uni building. So much left to do and I was stranded waiting for the magical AA man to text me back in the pouring rain just metres from my building. I ventured out to get a coffee from Subway but when I got there they only had hot chocolate. Grr. Lost a whole hour that evening..)

Woooooo!

At 5pm it got locked in the room. That's it. Over.

Wooooooo!

Cannot believe that I have nothing to do this weekend but things that I want to do!

5 days to go before my life begins

Holy Crap

5 days.

That is all I have before my project is in.

20 days until my fate is sealed and I am forced to go through the trauma of opening my results in a personal tutorial with my department head (how evil is that?!? I want to open them on my own in the toilet whilst rocking gently to and fro... to and fro...)

Am feeling v. stressed but mostly about how I do not actually seem stressed.. Odd I know, but I have spent the last 16 weeks working on this project and to be honest, I'm not far off getting it done. V. scared about picking up work from the printers.. Having dreams about putting my A1 boards onto the wall and discovering a huge spelling mistake (most probably in my name just to add to my unemployability) and then having to present to the tutors who will think I am completely thick just as they secretly thought..

Not entirely sure what happens once my work is locked in that room. I think I may have a computer free weekend so that I'm not tempted to look at work and notice problems. The concept of "free time" is also something I am not familiar with as I have not had any since A levels. What do free people do? Do you go out to town without the feelings of guilt and actually afford to buy more than two drinks because you have an actual grown up job?

Which leads me to the largest issue which keeps me awake at night. It took me a year and a half to get the job at Sainsbury's. How the hell am I going to find a proper job! Have become bitter to those lucky people who can go on graduate schemes with their guaranteed salary and medical plans. I just want to do what I have been training for for the last 4 years and what I have wanted to do for the last 8. Why must that be so difficult?

But on to happier thoughts! My Birthday approaches, and with it - a trip to the zoo :)

(well I can't think of anything else to do!)

Also having to cope with random family members buying me degree/work related presents or in some cases the certainty that they will actually forget altogether (as have officially become a work-hermit)

Right - am going to sit on sofa and have a nap.. will wake refreshed and ready to work!* My eyes feel fried..



*I don't actually believe that - it's just the only way I can justify sleeping

Now an award winning designer..

...well, joint second place out of the 11 best designers in the uni isn't too bad!

Have now got to spend my meagre amount of money on a holiday to Venice and essentially send the trustees a postcard of some sort.

Now I just have to pray that the picture of me does not appear in the Birmingham Mail (Needless to say it rained on me on the way to the Jewellery Quarter..)

if something could put you off having kids...

Have just got back from the most bizarre lunch ever!

James and I had a coffe and some toasted sandwiches which were v. nice in the Marks and Spencers restaurant. After we had sat down a couple with a toddler occupied the table next to us.

Their child then proceeded to belch his way through lunch. Honestly - I have never heard anything like it! It was so gross that I had to stop drinking for fear that I would throw up!

*shudder*

We were so relieved when they left, although ten minutes later they walked past with the child still doing it!! It reminded me of one of the baddies in my earthworm jim game that threw up fish...

7 hours

Yep.. The image previously blogged took seven hours to render.

In the end I had to set my alarm and wake up in the middle of the night to check it. V obsessive I know!

Picture looks great though! I have achieved quite a bit today, managing to create a board layout and another 3 images whilst fitting in a Pizza Hut at lunch. Yum.

Ooh, speaking of which, beloved Pizza Hut has been redesigned and now possesses a tasty interior as well as a tasty menu. Resorted to taking sneaky pictures on my phone camera to remember the bits that I liked. How sad. Degree has finally claimed my sanity.

At 5pm I trekked across Birmingham, dragging my soggy laptop bag behind me, and attempted to catch a train. Oh how I loathe the British Rail Network, where the smallest amount of rain can stop a train and a stray leaf could leave me stranded.

Nevertheless, I am now settled at my desk in the groove created in my seat pad, staring out at the rain with that smug feeling of being indoors. I think I shall go make a brew.

Early evening rambles

The time is.. 21:21.

I have been sat staring at an image loading on my screen for what feels like a lifetime. Well it probably is for the mayfly or something..

One and a half hours of my precious time dissolved into two inches of an image.

How will I get another 14 of these done in 7 days?

It's a strange feeling, being so close to the end. I feel elated - ready to find a job, house, new car. There is just this giant evil shadow (known as The Project) rearing it's ugly head and trampling upon my happy future thoughts. The thoughts that get me on the train and make it fun to sit at my computer. The thoughts that find me with the cat watching James wash the car on our driveway, contemplating what to make for dinner and how nice it would be if we redecorated the lounge...

Oh well, if this is what it takes then I suppose I shall just sit here for the next three hours and watch my future load in front of my eyes.

A fractured life

It seems that my life is now progressing towards the end of my degree in fortnightly chunks. I have no memory of the last week or so and I am vaguely aware of the late nights.

Mostly I have measured time through my dentist appointments.

I am sat before my computer with three new fillings and £100 less in my account. Bastards.


Anyway..

Just a quick congratulations to my now engaged Brother - I am sorry I haven't spoken to you since my Sister told me but hey - you are obviously more like me! I promise I will tell you about my own engagement in person when you do ;)

Also have had fabulous day where I purchased a new pair of flip flops from animal and have liberated a rat that would have died had it been left to eat poison in next doors garden. He is now happily roaming the fields of Twycross, probably very confused about the strange boy who threw tarpaulin over the cage and threw bird seed all over it..

James has quite a few issues with rats. He came across this particular one last week in the compost heap, threw a banana at it and promptly ran away.

Have taken picture of the Rat (or Roger as I have called him) which I shall post when James gives me his phone...

Wales

The highlights of my visit to Wales have to be:

1. Grandma explaining that the reason my chocolates on the dashboard hadn't melted was because she believed that the recipe had been altered so the chocolates could be sold in hot countries

2. Grandma fashioning a banana sandwich in the car after buying a loaf of bread in Morrisons

3. The weather being amazing and making me ever so slightly brown