Near death experience..

Oh my god


I was feeling slightly peckish so i decided to put a pizza in the oven for lunch. Put pizza in the oven as phone beeped.

Sat sending a txt back to claire and noticed a really weird noise. Sounded like a firework.. v. odd. Fireworks are not usually found in the house?! Walked into kitchen and cooker on fire!!!

Oh god. Cooker on fire.

Turned off the cooker switch and grabbed the oven gloves. With window open i bravely grabbed the flaming tea towel sitting on top of the hob and threw out of window.

By this point I was gasping for breath as kitchen, hall and dining room completely full of burning polyester smoke.

I opened all of the door and windows and shut the little kitty in her room and ran into the garden to breathe some clean air.. Next thing i heard the voice of the next door neighbour going "oh my god! it's on fire!" He had run across to throw water on the still burning pile of rag sat under the window. I explained what had happened and he left when he saw i was ok.

It was at this point - me (looking amazingly rough btw as was due to bathe after said pizza and was wearing an odd combo of utility trousers, nighty top and tatty snowboard asylum jumper) scrubbing furiously at burnt plasic on hob, rag on driveway still smouldering - that a strange lad in a white coat appeared.

Bet you can guess my first thought!

Instead of screeming "don't take me away! It was only an accident!" I was forced to listen to boy speaking gibberish abut frozen fish.

Frozen fish??? I had no idea what he was saying, I was still in trauma and rag still looking suspicious on the driveway. I replied with "I didn't know we had fish"

It sounds so stupid now but at the time i was stupid myself.

He looked at me like i was a loony and then said "Do you want to order some fish. We freeze it. Then deliver it. To your house. Do you want any fish?"

"It's not my house"

CAN YOU NOT SEE I AM IN A STATE OF PANIC AND COUGHING WITH NEWLY AQUIRED SMOKERS COUGH DUE TO TOWEL??????

For your own amusement have taken a picture of the culprit (incase you were wondering it is tinfoil next to it as was afraid of flames and wrapped some over the top when threw out of window... (will have to add picture of it later - blogger is having issues with pictures at the mo!)



Well, I am off to town now to buy some replacement tea towels...